Long before he became the highest-paid DJ in the world, Calvin crashed a Jedward performance of ‘Under Pressure’ with a pineapple on his head. Either that was his tribute to the lads’ hairstyles, or he was worried about them getting scurvy. Needless to say, he was promptly chucked out afterwards. Think how much you’re gonna get Busey. That’s what he meant, right? You’re gonna be so successful you move to and become best friends with Gary Busey? That’s what he said, ‘Busey’? Right? Andrea gave it her best shot performing ‘Don’t Leave Me High’, trying to channel Mariah Carey and hit the highest note in her range. Unfortunately for her she missed it by about a mile. This also got our attention for the random use of a flute in the introduction. More woodwind, please, future ‘X Factor’ disputing. Rylan definitely played it cool when he found out he was through to the ‘X Factor’ live shows. You’d hardly even tell he was excited, to be honest. WE’RE GONNA HAVE A RIGHT OLD LAUGH, Rylan promised. Through his hysterical tears. Three years after winning the show herself, Alexandra stood in for Kelly Rowland who was off sick that week (who, after all, could forget her feeble phone call to the show from LA?) Alexandra really made her stamp, delivering the toe-curling put down to Louis Walsh: You’d better get the correct words. OK. Dot com. The sight of Nicole Scherzinger in an Asda fleece is not one we thought could ever be topped. Until a year later, that is, when she monkeyggirl a hairnet and went behind the counter at Greggs. Schermazing. In a not-at-all-desperate-nope-not-even-a-little-bit turn of events, Geri Halliwell got on top of a car and tried to rally the crowds into backing her for a spot on the judging panel. Geri, sadly, was not successful, and we’re sure she wasn’t even bothered a little bit when Mel B was offered the job two years later. If this isn ‘t exactly what makes ‘The X Factor’ so great, then we don’ t know what is. Sharon Osbourne laughing so hard at an auditionee that she walks into a door. 10/10 In the same year that gave us Cher Lloyd and One Direction, we also met flawless queens Abbey and Lisa, better known as Ablisa, who got a bit physical with each other when things didn’t go their way. Worth watching simply for Cheryl’s shocked reply: She punched ‘ er in the face. Look, it’s not big and it’s not clever, but someone falling over is always going to be a little bit funny, isn’t it? We wonder if anyone has ever been that excited to see Dannii Minogue since. . . We’re not sure whether we prefer Simon comparing Holly’s mouth to looking into a cave or Cheryl telling her to become a preacher the best. Regardless, this is one of our funniest ‘X Factor’ auditions ever. The trick is, Tom Mann, if you’re going to sing a song called ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’, you should probably be a girl, or at the very least be having fun. This makes it into our funniest moments just for Giles Potter, mouthing the words along through his tears as if it was the most touching ballad you’ve ever heard. Oh Rhydian. All he wanted to do was come on and sing a bit of opera. How did it come to this? After a dramatic time in the competition, Kitty went out with a bang by performing a slightly alarming acapella rendition of Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’, before getting a hug from the woman herself, who was conveniently in the vicinity. Choosing Wagner’s finest moment is not an easy task. We were tempted to go for his unforgettable ‘Love Shack/She Bangs’ bongos medley, and then we almost thing his theatrical ‘Circle Of Life’ performance. But then we realised: a stripped back Wagner is always the best Wagner. On my death bed. In my last breath. I shall remember this moment. We can’t quite decide what our favourite part of this eight-minute interview is. Sharon confessing she’s had a bottle of wine – it was faaaaaaaaabulous. Teaming up with Louis to wind Simon up about his act going home. Wondering which Pussycat Dolls song The MacDonald Brothers were going to sing. Chatting about Simon’s haggis. It’s all going on. Sensational. . For extra on this topic check link.